From a very early age, all human beings receive many wounds—whether from parents or relatives, from school or communal life, from poverty, from a harsh society, or from abuse and contempt. These wounds are not only inflicted but are also shaped into being. For example, imagine parents who justify themselves with morality while carelessly nagging and cursing at their children. A child who grows up under such parents becomes weary of constant nagging and verbal abuse, and like the proverb “in one ear and out the other,” develops from childhood the habit of dismissing or ignoring what others say.
As a result, even in the process of becoming an adult, he forms the habit of halfheartedly listening—or not listening at all—even to wisdom, lessons, and rebukes meant for his own good. The consequences of this are disastrous. He cannot properly learn the correct standards and experiences that come through rebuke and admonition. Even the good intentions of others, meant to teach him right judgment, are received as nagging or scolding, and thus he cannot form even the most basic capacity for empathy. This leads him to reject or fail to understand what is truly right. In other words, even positive experiences, lessons, and knowledge are all taken emotionally—received as nagging, as scolding, or as hatred. And in the end, such misunderstanding only produces more wounds.
When one encounters a situation that feels similar to past experiences of contempt or injury, anger rises first. Because of the rebellious habit of hearing superficially—or not at all—he cannot gain understanding, communication, experience, knowledge, or wisdom through listening. Thus, his self-centered obstinacy, knowing nothing but himself, is devoid of communication, understanding, tolerance, and generosity. Like a child, his intellect becomes ruled by emotions—unstable, petty, and restless—always trembling at passing feelings. Even the smallest matters, which should be overlooked, cannot be let go, and this pettiness becomes a heavy burden to others.
When problems or hardships arise, oversensitivity causes him to exaggerate and misinterpret, inflating judgments far beyond reality. Even in the exchange of opinions, excessive attachment, emotion, and conflict arise, leading to fierce arguments. When his own opinion is not accepted, he feels rejected and ignored, reacting with such intensity as though willing to die in defiance. His emotions surge wildly, rising and falling dozens of times a day, and when anger grows so fierce that he sees nothing before him, it leads to violence, quarrels, self-harm, or even murder. Thus, he has no ear to rightly hear the words of others.
Even if the words of others are lessons meant for his good, his inflated judgments and delusions cause him to misinterpret them, repeatedly producing only bad outcomes. In other words, because of victim mentality, his distorted and exaggerated judgments lead him to misunderstand good intentions as contempt or hatred, receiving even kindness as nagging or rebuke. This creates wounds that are selfish and false—wounds and tears born not of truth but of a refusal to accept anything outside his own standards and claims.
As pride and inferiority grow within this victim mentality, he treats others carelessly. Trusting only his own inflated thoughts and judgments, he dismisses the opinions of others, impatiently cutting them off, treating them harshly. Why? Because within his heart, discontent from past contempt and mistreatment is expressed outwardly by despising and belittling others. In doing so, he gains a false satisfaction, boosting his sense of existence and superiority while compensating for his old wounds and victim mentality.
Such people always see only their own sorrow, pain, and wounds, so they always consider themselves victims—even rationalizing the harm they cause others as justified by their own past suffering. In other words, though they wrong and mistreat others, they cannot see the damage they cause, deceived into thinking of themselves as the only ones wounded.
Thus, all people have more false wounds, born of misunderstanding and delusion, than true wounds inflicted by others. These are wounds that deceive the conscience, just like emotions that deceive the conscience—wounds born of violent feelings and obsession when desires are not fulfilled, wounds from disappointment when ideals and wishes are unmet, wounds born of misunderstandings created by biased judgments driven by fleshly desire. They are false wounds—illusions created by human thought and delusion, fake injuries born of selfish emotions.
Such hasty judgments and misunderstandings not only wound others but deepen one’s own false sense of victimhood. Those plagued by such delusion often fear standing before others. They unconsciously watch people’s reactions, growing anxious and restless, and though they despise this habit in themselves, they cannot escape it. When no one around them seems to understand their burden, resentment grows, which then turns into dissatisfaction, which then becomes hatred, leading to quarrels and strife—a vicious cycle ending only in regret and guilt.
The greater the victim mentality, the greater the defensiveness. Yet at the same time, the greater the craving for dependence on others. Thus, when someone shows them kindness, they cling excessively, even to the point of suffocating attachment. But as high as their expectations rise, so too does their disappointment when those expectations are not met. If others fail to meet their imagined standards, betrayal, deep hurt, and anger follow. That anger grows, turns into hostility, and the cycle repeats without end.
In short, the attachments born of their desires lead only to deeper disappointment, fueling discontent, exaggeration, and delusion. Their inflated imagination produces falsehoods and misunderstandings, which they then mistake for reality. Thus, by their own delusions, they create false wounds in their hearts again and again.
Their excessive delusion leads them to despise and mistreat others, yet they always think of themselves as victims, deceived into believing they are the ones despised and mistreated. This is an illness of the soul—a distorted standard born of selfish, absolutized thought, a disease of always blaming others while never looking back at one’s own faults. Such habits make life unbearable for those around them.
Because they never look for the cause of problems in themselves but always in others, they constantly create excuses and justifications. Even when others are not insulting them, if someone behaves in a way that reminds them of past contempt, they react without filter or pause—rashly, violently, and extremely. Such victim mentality, magnified by pride and inferiority, makes them always see themselves as the victim. Their hypersensitive reactions distort the meaning of others’ words, twisting good intentions into negative interpretations. Trusting too absolutely in their own thoughts, they never realize that their judgments are not accurate.
Thus, concerning their own mistakes, they habitually minimize or rationalize them, excusing themselves while blaming others.
Attachments born of desire enslave a person within a self-centered prison, producing nothing but emotional wounds and piled-up sin. Yet who in this world can always give them the unconditional love, comfort, and encouragement they demand—always shielding them, always existing only for them? This is nothing but illusion, a false expectation created by unsatisfied desires, born of victim mentality and false wounds.
Thus, all these self-created false wounds accumulate into suffocating darkness, a prison of one’s own making. And who on this earth can deliver a person from the dark prison of his own making?