Every human being believes without filter or doubt what he sees with his eyes and hears with his ears. Yet, though people may see the same thing and hear the same thing, the words they speak and the claims they make are often different. This is because their ways of receiving and their standards differ, and because the eyes and ears themselves are not perfectly accurate.
For example, even in a simple game where one person whispers a short sentence and it is passed along to others, by the end the words are often completely altered and nonsensical. Likewise, the brain’s perception through the eyes and ears varies from person to person. If one is concentrated on, preoccupied, or thinking of something else, though he may hear another person’s words, he may not properly listen, nor even register what was said. Thus, human eyes, ears, and the mind’s perception differ according to the person, the situation, and the circumstance, and therefore can never be entirely accurate.
Though people acknowledge in theory that they may be mistaken and are not perfect, when faced with real situations, they cling to an absolute certainty that what they themselves saw, heard, and felt must be right. Though they admit in words that they are not perfect, in reality every person absolutizes his own judgments and thoughts, lacking the humility and willingness to question, examine, or reconsider whether his perceptions are indeed correct.
In disputes, when someone points out their error, instead of calmly reflecting—“Did I misunderstand? Was there a mistake in judgment?”—most respond only with hostility toward the one who pointed it out, insisting their own perception is correct. This is the essence of human nature.
Human sight, hearing, and perception can never be perfectly accurate. Yet people still place absolute trust in these unreliable faculties, and such absolutized judgments and decisions produce grievances and conflicts. Consider a courtroom: testimony and perceived facts carry great weight in judgment. But false testimony or mistaken perception can destroy a life—or even, in severe cases, lead to death sentences. Even if the witness or prosecutor did not realize their perception was wrong, such errors are tantamount to murder.
Why then do people so blindly trust their own thoughts and perceptions, when they know they can be mistaken? It is because the greater a person’s victim mentality, the more unconsciously he absolutizes himself.
Judgments and calculations made through the senses are inherently flawed, especially in those bound by victim mentality. This is because their decisions are rushed, hasty, and impulsive. Those with deep victim mentality are often impatient, making snap judgments before the other person has even finished speaking—or sometimes before they have even begun. Such rashness leads to incomplete understanding, missed context, and overlooked truths. Yet, despite the many errors this impatience creates, most refuse to acknowledge their mistakes, clinging instead to excuses and stubbornness that only increase their guilt.
This is often rooted in excessive competitiveness and feelings of inferiority born of victim mentality. If their mistakes are acknowledged, they feel as if they have lost to the other person or been humiliated, so they insist even more fiercely upon their own absolute certainty.
Such impatience is often found in those who grew up watching others’ moods, constantly on edge. It comes from:
A compulsive desire to avoid scolding and earn approval through quick responses.
The selfish impulse to rationalize and justify one’s own views.
The prideful urge to prove oneself superior.
The desire to have things one’s own way.
Thus, excessive feelings of inferiority become the main root of hostility. Such people neither truly listen to others’ words nor accept them. Because their victim mentality has deeply ingrained the habit of thinking themselves always right, they automatically treat everyone as rivals. If others’ opinions differ, or if others point out their faults, they do not accept correction but oppose with hostility. Even their own harsh actions, misunderstandings, and lies they either fail to recognize or brazenly rationalize.
Even when they repent and reconcile, the mindset of hostility remains; they instinctively flare up, driven by their own fleshly impulses. From childhood, they never learned to listen reasonably to the opinions of others, so even if they appear to listen, it is only to find ammunition to justify themselves. In truth, they neither see nor hear. The greater their victim mentality, the more they ignore others’ views and treat them as adversaries.
This is often the cause of conflict in marriages as well: spouses may live together yet not truly see or hear each other. Each clings only to his or her own desires and expectations, frustrated when the other does not fulfill them. Communication breaks down, dissatisfaction grows into resentment, resentment into hatred, and arguments and strife become endless.
Thus, those with strong victim mentality rarely have anyone with whom they can open their hearts. They struggle alone, worry alone, and decide alone. As a result, their choices are marked by hesitation, rigidity, anxiety, and self-consciousness—yet at the same time, by an opposite extremity of behavior: rigid, radical, bold, rash, and uncompromising. This contradictory double-sidedness becomes their habitual pattern of life.