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There is an overwhelming amount of people who consistently judge and outcast sinners when they seek help. I know the story of a sinner may not be the one you want to hear, but is still the story of someone’s life. As someone who has many problems and who has sought help from people who are supposed to be my brothers and sisters I have never felt more outcasted than by Christians. I have been blessed with materialistic wealth, but am poor in love, companionship and intimacy. The things I tell people about my past shock them and instantly cast me off as a sinner. I know I am a sinner, but whenever I ask for help to the best of “MY” abilities no one ever answers with an open heart or mind. I have a therapist and a doctor who prescribe “mood stabilizers” but they solve the way I express my emotions or “mood” to others, but they do not erase the feelings on the inside.
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Christians are not necessarily true followers of Christ. If they were, they would embrace their brothers in all aspects. Many Christians mistakenly believe that being a Christian automatically makes them a true follower of Christ. However, they are no different from worldly people—in fact, many are even worse. Christians, who are supposed to be the light and salt of the world, should set an example and be a source of inspiration. Instead, they merely pretend to be holy, kind, good, and gentle. In reality, they rely on shallow, calculated thinking and cunning strategies for survival rather than genuine faith and righteousness.
I, too, have suffered from countless rumors within Christianity in the past. People, without truly knowing my situation, spread all kinds of gossip about my difficult family circumstances. Without understanding the full picture, they judged me because of the misfortunes in my family.
Even among deaconesses who claim to pray all night, I have heard their conversations. They may start by saying good things about others, but in the end, they turn to speaking ill of people. This has become a habit for many Christians. In reality, there is no fundamental difference between Christians and the world. Do not rely on Christians—rely on God. Seek God, for He is the one who soothes our sorrows, loneliness, and burdens. However, if I only chase after worldly and fleshly desires, I will not receive His response. If I can truly seek to live a life centered in Christ, I will taste the greatness of His grace. In the midst of loneliness, discouragement, sorrow, and pain, God allows these experiences so that through us, we may understand and embrace those who are even more broken, discouraged, sorrowful, and wounded than ourselves. Through our own struggles, we can recognize the tears and suffering of others as our own, and in doing so, we gain the treasure of praying for them with genuine compassion. This is why we are given these experiences—to share in the burdens of others and bring them before God in prayer.
Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.(Matthew 5 : 3-4)
The Bible clearly states that the poor and those who mourn are blessed. The reason is to make one understand the tears of the poor through poverty, and to realize the pain of those who mourn through mourning, so that we are compelled to love the poor and the pitiful through our own tears, pain, mourning, and suffering. In other words, through my own poverty, I am made to deeply feel the pain of the poor; through my own mourning, to feel the mourning of others; through my own pain, to develop a compassionate heart for those in greater pain. Therefore, those who learn God’s love and mercy through poverty, suffering, mourning, and tears find gratitude and joy manifest in their tears and pain.
All humans fail to perceive the deeper and greater grace of God because they regard their own poverty, suffering, pain, and mourning merely as a cause for sadness and discouragement. Sometimes God makes us realize pain and tears through our children, sometimes he allows us to experience hardships through failed businesses, and sometimes through illness, he leads us to His great love. However, not all humans live a life following the sacrificial love of Christ, a life dedicated to the happiness, success, and prosperity of this world and the flesh, and because they do not live their lives sacrificing everything, including their own lives, for the love of Christ, they see only discouragement, despair, and sorrow when things do not go as they wish or plan, thus failing to see God’s holy will. This is because, not only the pastors but also the congregants, they profess to follow God only in words and not actually aim to live a life following the love of Christ, hence they only voice complaints and discouragement.
Please send me an email regarding your struggles. God is merciful toward all sins. It is only when we break free from a life of repeatedly falling into past sins that we can truly experience the fullness of His grace. Desire to live according to God’s will. And if you wish to discuss this further, feel free to email me. There are depths beyond our understanding. Medicine can never truly heal the sickness of the heart. This sickness of the heart is the sorrow that our conscience cries out.
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