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I’m not looking for sympathy but answers: since 2017, I have been broken spiritually and I shifted vehemently to agnostic. There are days I’m not even sure God exists and we’re all just living a lie. How does one go on when we have more questions than answers? I want to believe, but there is so much trouble in the world, how can there be a higher power, and if it does exist, is it benevolent or malevolent? I’ve been actively seeking direction so my life doesn’t feel meaningless, because lately I’ve been feeling that way. Are we all just on a flying rock hurtling through space waiting to die, or is there purpose and an end goal worthy of achieving?
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Spiritual Concepts
Most people who use the words “spiritual, spiritual” without knowing what spirituality actually means base the idea of being spiritual on their own feelings or emotions. In reality, 100% of the people who speak of spiritual concepts without understanding the true nature of the spirit are blind guides teaching and learning from their own ignorance.
Every human being has a spirit and a soul. However, all animals possess only a “soul.” In other words, only human beings possess a “spirit-soul,” where spirit and soul are joined together. The human spirit bears the nature of God. Therefore, when a person extinguishes their spirit, that person inevitably becomes like a beast. This is what is called “eternal punishment.” That is, because their spirit becomes extinguished due to their own sin, they can be nothing but a beast, and the state in which a person whose spirit has been destroyed must receive a future life only as an animal—this state is what eternal punishment means.
Those who are ignorant and foolish, who do not even know that the spirit is the good conscience, claim that their own will, thoughts, and judgments are spiritual. Shameless people who do not even feel the guilt of conscience (the spirit) call themselves spiritual. Those who cannot even recognize their own sin—in other words, those whose conscience has disappeared to the point that they cannot feel any guilt—become like monsters, and they use the concept of spirituality to justify and excuse their own harsh, rough, distorted, extreme, cruel, disgusting, cunning, and deceptive habits.
In other words, those whose conscience is seared and disappearing put forward the concept of being spiritual, but what they call “spiritual” is not the value of conscience; it is merely the elevation of their own emotions. Human emotion is a passion that arises from the evil habits rooted in the nature of the flesh. It is not the habit of a good heart that comes from a good conscience. Human emotion always reflects human desires and greed, and this becomes the root cause of repeated sin. Therefore, emotions arising from the fleshly nature become nothing but sin. The good conscience of a human being is the Spirit of God given to humanity from God Himself. For this reason, infants who have not yet sinned speak in tongues, which is the prayer of the spirit.
However, as people grow older, they begin to form habits of sin as they pursue the desires, instincts, and nature of the flesh. Within these evil emotional habits, humans continually produce sin. The result of whether one lives according to the fleshly instincts and emotions, or according to the guilty of conscience and the life of the spirit, determines whether a person repeats greed and sin according to the nature of the flesh and thus falls into judgment and hell, or whether one follows the love of God in goodness and righteousness unto heaven and salvation. It is a matter of choosing between a religious faith that pursues one’s own blessing, ideals, success, happiness, and comfort according to the nature of the flesh, or a Christ-centered faith that pursues the love of God and aims for the hope of Christ.
Those who do not even realize that they have become slaves of religion and have betrayed God pray only for themselves, wrapping their lust and greed in the name of blessing and ideals and happiness. Their prayers consist solely of worldly concerns rooted in the flesh—problems in the family, problems in business, problems at work, problems in love, problems with children, problems with health. They pursue only their own desires according to the nature of the flesh, just like all worldly people, like Esau, seeking only their own blessing, ideals, and wishes. Such prayers and tears, centered on the flesh and the world, can never produce the true repentance of rebirth in Christ.
Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright. For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears.(Hebrews 12 : 16~17)
The spiritual concepts that Christians speak of—centered on their own emotions—are all based on their momentary feelings of joy, pleasure, and comfort. As a result, they all call the shifting values that sway according to their emotions “spiritual.” In other words, even though they do not live the life of the spirit—the life of Christ—they still teach the concept of spirituality, and the doctrines and claims of today’s Christianity are 100% in contempt of, and contrary to, the Spirit of God. They do not even know that the spirit itself is the conscience; blind people are teaching other blind people. Those who cannot even feel the guilt of conscience are teaching what spirituality is. Christians whose concepts sway according to emotions, moods, and impulses, according to the nature of the flesh, do not know that the good conscience is the spirit. Those who cannot even feel the rebuke of conscience are the very ones claiming to be spiritual.
Today’s Christian idea of spirituality refers to the fleeting sense of satisfaction, happiness, achievement, and comfort that arises from one’s momentary feelings. They call emotional excitement produced by human teachings and human inspiration “spiritual,” but in truth it is merely a temporary feeling meant to satisfy the pleasures and comforts of the flesh. In other words, this momentary joy and delight is simply pleasure. The enjoyment and delight that arise from the desires of the flesh are pleasure. And it is this pleasure-based mindset and emotion—born from the nature of the flesh—that they call spiritual.
As a person’s good conscience (spirit) gradually dies, their heart grows increasingly empty and lacking; their faith becomes weary and worn out by life in the world. Instead of overflowing gratitude and abundant liberality that come from dwelling in the love of God, what grows is instability—faith that is shaken by circumstances, conditions, and emotions. Because they mistake fluctuating emotions for spirituality, the firm, unshakable good conscience (spirit) gradually dies, leaving behind only a deepening emptiness and an increasingly anxious, unstable heart. This is the state of most believers today.
The false spiritual concepts in Christianity—produced by the evil nature of humans who seek only convenience, pleasure, and happiness—have become a tool and justification for defending their claims according to their moods and emotions, without even knowing the true reality of the spirit. The true reality of the spirit is the conscience, yet people teach without knowing this. Because believers do not know what the spirit actually is, they interpret and apply it however they wish, according to their own tastes and desires, thus abusing it. This is the so-called spirituality of today’s Christians. Their faith—interpreting emotional excitement born from the evil passions of the flesh as something spiritual—turns them into increasingly cunning, cruel, and wicked monsters who no longer feel the guilty of conscience.